Logical Sacrifice
by Andrina Sparda
Summary: This is a short piece that looks at Spock's death in Star Trek Two The Wrath of Khan from Spock's perspective.


A/N- **Disclaimer- I do not own Star Trek or any of it's wonderful characters. I am not playing in thier universe to make any profit just to have some fun.**

Logically for Love

_In my dyeing I am more alive than I have ever been._

_I will make this sacrifice for I am winter born._

_I will give my life for love…_

- Rouge and the Cruxshadows

Spock sat at the console searching his numbers, logic and soul for a way to save the ship, and his friends. There was another time when he failed to come up with a miracle that could help Jim, it was burned into his memory like an old wound that refused to heal.

"Check mate," Spoke had said when Jim had asked him for any hope. It was one of many of his regrets he had to this day. The moment seemed to be playing its self out again to Spock's dismay. The Genesis project was about to blow their ship to pieces and all Spock could think of as he sat there at this station was, Jim is going to die, and I have no answer to help him this time. Another thought came as well, The Kobayashi Maru test, it seemed that he was facing his own personal version of it as we speak. The answer was there, he could pass this test, and there was no choice. He had to save the Enterprise and Jim, they were one and the same. He would not say Checkmate this time, not when there was another way. With this thought he got up out of his seat and into the turbo lift.

He reached engineering and saw Scotty lying on the floor. Bones was with him. As much as he argued with Bones he knew he was a good friend, someone who kept Spock's logic from making him dead inside. He appreciated this more than the doctor would ever know.

"Spock are you out of your Vulcan mind, no human can tolerate the radiation in there,"

"As you are so fond of observing doctor_, I_ am not human," Spock replied. He was quite fond of this familiar bantering, it helped calm his nerves of what he was about to do.

"Your not going in there," Bones said grabbing Spock's shoulder.

"Perhaps you are right, what is Mister Scott's Condition?"

"Well I don't think that he…" with that Spock reached up and Vulcan necked pinched him. He could not however let the opportunity to get the last word escape him.

"Sorry doctor but I have no time to discuss this logically,'" With that he put his fingers in the mind meld position on the doctor's face.

"Remember," Spock could feel the transference taking place. His father and his culture would be appeased, his knowledge would live on. In his soul he knew it should have been Jim, he longed for it to be Jim, but he was not there.

Spock entered the chamber and closed the door putting on the gloves. It did not take long for the radiation to affect him as he opened the hatch to fix the damaged machinery. _Pain is a thing of the mind, the mind can be controlled _he told him self as he finished his work. The Enterprise could get to safety. It was up to Jim now.

Spock felt so weak, both of his eyes were burned so he could not see. He sat down in the nearest corner, to await death.

"Spock!"

He heard Jims voice calling for him, am I dead? Spock thought, no the pain was still there, he was for the moment still alive.

Spock used all of his willpower to pull himself up. He straightened his uniform out of habit. The walk to the front of the chamber where Jim's voice was located seemed to take an eternity. He wanted to be near Jim, and make sure that he had accomplished his mission.

"Ship…out of danger?" Spock asked not recognizing his own raspy voice. He knew his vocal cords must have been damaged.

"Yes!"

Spock sighed with relief; his death would not be in vain. Jim had once again cheated death and he was glad for it.

"I never took the Kobayashi Maru test, until now. What do you think of my solution?"

Spock could hear Jim say his name with pain. He did not want the only person who made him feel human without shame to be in such pain. Not for him.

"Do not grieve Admiral, it was logical. The needs of the many out weigh…" Spock could feel his lungs beginning to give out, his strength was failing.

"The needs of the few…"

"Or the one" Spock replied nodding his head in agreement. He did not want Jim to mourn him. He knew that it was not a logical request. Jim would indeed grieve, however he would also live. He hoped that Jim understood his gift he gave him on his birthday. He could see Jim was upset about getting older and not having command. Jim had to know he could have it, anything he wanted, it was not too late. Jim must see that even in death the journey is not over, there is still meaning and a mission.

Spock raised his hand and made the traditional Vulcan salute, pressing it against the glass. He was beginning to feel afraid now, where he was going would be a journey he would take alone. He wanted to feel Jim's warmth but the glass kept them apart. He had to say goodbye but did not really know how. He could feel death was coming. He could no longer stand and was sliding down the glass.

"I always have been and ever shall be, your friend," Spock managed to say. He heard Jim whisper his name with a voice that was weak from holding back sobs. Spock could feel Jim's hand match his own and he felt at home. Jim would live and someone cared for him. His life had meant something, there is nothing more that he had ever wanted. He hoped his father would feel that in death his son was not a disappointment as he was in life. He also hoped that his actions had spoken to Jim more than his words now could. He wanted them to say, _I would die for you, I feel for you_.

"Live long and Prosper."

With these last words Spock told Jim what he wanted for him. Spock would not say goodbye, he would not leave Jim not even in death.

The world now went black as he fully collapsed on the glass, feeling Jim' presence and drawing comfort from it. He felt his soul transcending to Bones.

"No… it should be Jim!," Spock's soul screamed as a last cry but then his own consciousness left him. His will was now clouded and dependent on another's mind that over shadow his own.


End file.
